Are we hard-wired to dread the end of summer? For years it signaled the start of the school year. What could be worse?! And now, as full-grown DMV adults, it represents something much, much worse.

Congress is back in session, and the return of the great annual funding crisis begins.

For those wondering why anyone off the Hill cares about the schedule of those on it, we envy your ignorance. Because here in D.C., Hill job or not, budget season turns the whole city into a collective penny-pinching battleground. One day it’s Compass Coffee in the breakroom, the next it’s Folgers Instant Crystals. Open bar happy hours become canned cocktails and Bud Light. It’s like every D.C. office watches Congress spiral and thinks, “we should try that too” – a bizarre annual ritual, like Groundhog Day, but with worse consequences, like ulcerative colitis.

To add insult to injury, the weather is absolutely gorgeous, best of the year, 10/10. We could be picnicking in Meridian Hill Park, frolicking along the National Mall. But instead? Find us grinding that 12-hour shift with no perks or overtime, blowing our weed money on Tums.

So yeah, here in D.C. we’re all doing great and having a lot of fun.

Your Budget Crisis Re-Leaf

Here at District Cannabis, we refuse to accept the doom and gloom. Didn’t you know that stoners are the original optimists?

While everything else might be getting the slash and burn, your weed budget doesn’t have to.

Cause how else are you gonna survive September? We’ll take our unpaid overtime with a heaping side of some (budget-friendly) Super Silver Dawg. Vape-tember, was it? This cartridge is fire enough to get you through the month, and cheap enough to keep your weed consumption fully funded while the rest of the government shuts down. We call that the Cannabis Stopgap.

Another terp-tastic way to make your stash last all month long without breaking the bank? Meet the new fleet of Gold Pods. With a diamond-and-sauce’d-up Pod for all of our top DC strains, you’re getting hooked up with the full effects package.

Giggles? Check. Sudden inspiration to close the computer and lay outside in the grass? Check. Feelings of returning to a state of pre-budget-crisis humanity? Also, check.

Plus the major bonus feature of avoiding all that stress-induced premature balding. Big win.

And what better pairing for the giggles on a budget than free things to do around the DMV? Because if there’s one thing D.C. has plenty of, even during a funding crisis, it’s free stuff.

The country may be spiraling, but hey, at least it has produced some decent art: hop on a free guided tour of American Art at the National Gallery. Ready to learn something new? Every Thursday spice things up with free Latin dance classes at The Wharf, no rhythm (or budget) required. Or if you really want to blow it out of the water (and not your wallet), Saturday Sept. 19th is City Park Fall & Fireworks Fest in Hagerstown. All free, all fun: imagine an epic block party meets July 4th-level fireworks.

The Bipartisan Unwind

Yes, our inboxes have never been fuller and yes, the compensation for overworking has never been worse. We can choose to complain, or we can choose to take the high road. Obviously, we always choose the high road.

Blazing the trail, sparking inspiration for others. That’s us, seeing the greener grass bipartisan style: red or blue, cannabis doesn’t take sides. Nor does it leave your side when all those other fairweather office perks, like the fancy coffee, do. Because no matter how terribly our government is functioning, we always have weed….and each other.

Funny enough, the Hill has its own version of “togetherness”. Say what you want about Congress, but nothing brings people together quite like a funding deadline. Suddenly everyone’s huddled in the same hallway, negotiating the same stopgap, no partisan lines in sight. The proximity, the low whispers… if you squint it almost looks like brotherly intimacy.

So all for one, and one for all! Let us stand, united, in total government-induced chaos, laughing our way through the budget cuts one Gold Pod pull at a time.

WEED THE PEOPLE