From the Capitol to the River, Follow the Symbols

D.C. is famous for its lore. And for good reason, considering that fourteen U.S. presidents were documented Freemasons. The city is littered with secret symbolism. And beyond the Satanic messages, don’t even get us started on the ghost stories.

So we thought: we’ve already got one historical, stoned walking tour, why not throw in another for the occult lovers? And what goes better with a nice, baked afternoon than a deep dive into the city’s favorite urban legends?

Take a Walk on the Occult Side

We like to call this one ‘don’t get paranoid, get curious’. Start the tour with a mellow smoke: Beach Cake was made for walks like these. Definitely pack a snack. And get ready to see a spookier side of the swamp.

Stop 1: The Capitol Building

Here we are, at the center of D.C.’s street grid. If your stoney senses are on high alert, good. It’s not just the weed. You’re at the epicenter of D.C.’s masonic order.

Yes, Washington literally laid the Capitol cornerstone in a Masonic ceremony on September 18, 1793. And the architect was, in fact, a Freemason himself.

But the lore goes deeper than the Masons. Yes, we’re going there. The Demon Cat of the Capitol, or, better known by its quaint nickname, D.C. First spotted in the 1890s this giant, demonic cat is known to appear as the harbinger of disaster. According to legend, it appears as an ordinary black housecat that suddenly swells to monstrous size before lunging at witnesses and vanishing. Listen closely and you might even hear its ghostly meow.

Stop 2: Pennsylvania Avenue

Come one, come all, conspiracy theorists. The avenue connecting the Capitol to the White House forms the base of an incomplete pentagram in the street grid. Fact.

Also fact? Pierre Charles L’Enfant, the city’s planner, was deep in Masonic and Rosicrucian symbolism. Also, just saying, it kinda looks like a weed leaf if you squint your eyes…

Stop 3: The White House

Congratulations, you’ve arrived at the top point of the incomplete pentagram. Imagine the scene: it’s 1792, a Masonic procession dressed in full regalia is laying the cornerstone of the White House. Think Eyes Wide Shut. Or don’t. On second thought, just don’t.

And just to lay it on thick: the south lawn oval is said to mirror the all-seeing eye orientation when viewed from above… hmmmm.

Stop 4: The Pentagon

Taking a sharp left from Satanism and going straight into the extraterrestrial, welcome to the Pentagon, the world headquarters for alien coverups.

In 1952, mysterious UFO sightings were widely reported across airspace around the Pentagon. Fighter jets were scrambled and the government basically responded with, “Nothing to see here, folks.” Naturally, the public had a very different opinion.

Stop 5: The Washington Monument

OK, enough lore for one day! You’ve made it to the final stop on the baked and awakened D.C. tour. With this one, don’t even get us started.

The obelisk shape itself? A core Masonic symbol representing strength and the pursuit of spiritual enlightenment. And its measurements? 6,660 inches tall… draw your own conclusions.

You’ve done it. You’ve made D.C.’s occult rounds. And with so much rich cultural history now under your belt, it’s time to head home and let it all sink in over a pre-roll.

Take a Breather… There’s More

If you thought D.C. had some crazy shit, it’s time to head on up I-270 to Hagerstown. The Washington Monument was just a smoke break. With a Lemon Royale Pre-roll, it’s time to finish the full tour.

In Hagerstown, the Masonic fingerprints are harder to miss than you’d think. Friendship Lodge No. 84 has been holding out its legacy since 1827. And yes, you know that cornerstone was laid with a full ceremony. Again, try, desperately try, to NOT think Eyes Wide Shut.

And then you can always pop down to the Antietam National Battlefield, ghosts abound. Walk down what’s known as ‘Bloody Lane’ and perhaps, despite its desertion, you’ll hear singing in the fields, smell gunpowder in the air, or, like one eyewitness, see the ghostly forms of men strolling in Confederate uniforms.

For the real occult fanatics, we certainly can’t leave out Baltimore, a port city known for its history of twisted urban legends. So, here goes.

If you can help it, definitely do NOT spend the night in the Lord Baltimore Hotel, best known for Molly, a young spirit in a long dress often seen wandering the premises. Plus her ghostly comrades, known to scream down the hallways and haunt the ballroom. It’s giving The Shining.

In Baltimore County, take a pleasant stop at the Jericho Covered Bridge. But not for too long. Or, like many before you, you’re at risk of finding handprints across your windshield or seeing the ghostly apparitions of young women, badly burnt elders, and the like.

Yeah, we’d say that all of Maryland is pretty haunted.

Lore for Days

While we’d love to say ‘that pretty much covers Maryland’s occult’, we’ve only just skimmed the surface. From winged monsters haunting Maryland’s western skies to Black Aggie, the state is chock-full of lore.

And like basically everything else in life, there’s no better companion to some good ol’ ghost stories and Masonry than a fat joint. So put on your running shoes (we hear that ghosts move pretty quick), get high, and get going; the legends aren’t going to tell themselves!

WEED THE PEOPLE