The Loudest Tournament of the Year

It’s that time of year when everyone suddenly becomes a college basketball expert. March Madness is America’s favorite shared delusion, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Beloved for one reason above all, March Madness is really all about the underdog. The team that defies everyone’s expectations, going from bubble team to Cinderella run to champion. We can get behind that. What has followed more of a Cinderella upset than cannabis?

From counterculture to a legal $21B industry, try us with a greater underdog story. Sounds kind of like this year’s no. 12-seed High Point, who stunned no. 5-seed Wisconsin on a buzzer-beater — from a guy who hadn’t made a single two-point basket all season.

Or take all the deserving programs that got snubbed entirely — Auburn, Indiana, Oklahoma. We know a thing or two about being counted out. Legal in 24 states but federally Schedule I, we’ve been winning in our zone while the national bracket keeps us out.

Call us the OG Kush Cinderella. Just like all the teams suiting up this March, we’ve fought for our spot and now that we’re finally on the bracket, we’re bringing our top (shelf) players to the court.

A roster full of dark horses and underdogs, here at District Cannabis, we do March Madness a little differently. We’re less Kentucky vs. Santa Clara, and more Gelato Cake vs. Pavé. We’ve recruited the best seeds, and our final four are at tip-off, ready to put their best terps forward.

The Final Four

After three weeks of high pressure and even higher heat — our top favorites compete best at 550°F — we’ve made it to the most anticipated round, the Final Four. With some of our strains rim rattling since the early aughts and others taking to the court within the last year, it’s been a fire tournament.

Now taking to the court:

The Cinderella: She’s the belle of the tournament, lesser-known but by no means less potent. Cherry Limeade Cake rode in on a dark horse and left the competition in a cloud of tart cherry smoke. A balanced, flavorful, hybrid, Cherry Limeade Cake delivers the kind of W that keeps you on the couch. Ditch the glass slipper for a glass piece and you’ve got your perfect Cinderella story.

The bubble strain: Beach Cake, with its citrus palette and banging THC content, has often been overshadowed by its all-star sibling Gelato Cake. Sitting right on the bubble, nobody knew if it would get a bid. But it’s got the same championship DNA — Wedding Cake origins, proven genetics — and it just keeps winning.

The Sleeper: Pavé might be new to the competition but it’s been quietly and consistently putting up numbers and putting you down for the count in one slam-dunk hit. While everyone else was chasing the flashier programs, Pavé rolled right to the top. And don’t underestimate: it doesn’t just beat its opponents, it’ll give a full-body knockout to your whole bracket.

The Top Favorite: The legend itself: Gelato Cake. It’s the tried-and-true contest winner, the favorite since tip-off, and nothing on this court has changed that. Equal parts chill and uplifting, Gelato Cake has been running unstoppable plays for over a decade.

Four contenders, zero easy picks — this might be the loudest bracket we’ve ever had to blaze. Go ahead and place your bets, but don’t blame us when you can’t pick just one.

Rolling Up Your Top Contenders

So who are you putting your nugs on? If there’s one thing March Madness loves as much as a buzzer beater, it’s a good wager. And around here, as the stakes get higher, the bowls get fuller.

And with the competition this fire, two games won’t be enough to determine the championship round. Putting concentrate up against flower? That’s a foul. With rolling rounds, dab rounds, and vape-on-vape, it’s looking like March Madness will extend all the way through 4/20. We’re not mad about it.

So go ahead — lay your stash on the line and make your pick. Our bet? The Cinderella. We know how that story ends better than anyone.

The Ultimate Underdog

While one tournament plays out on the rolling tray, we’re watching our own underdog story move toward the championship in real time.

After decades of being bracket-busted by legislation and stigma, cannabis has made it to the Final Four of American culture. And if the MORE Act passes this year — federal cannabis legalization — let’s watch it rise to #1, surpassing even the hamburger.

So can you blame us for wanting to see Cherry Limeade Cake, our very own Cinderella, take the championship?

But hey, that’s just some home court bias. May the best strain win.

Or better yet, call it a four-way tie and run the bracket back from the top. March Madness might happen just once a year, but weed is always in season.

WEED THE PEOPLE