“Give Us Fridays or Give Us Death”

Patrick Henry’s famous rallying cry in 1775, which ultimately led to the great revolution of the Summer Friday. At least we think he said something like that. Please don’t fact check.

Regardless. It’s the last month of summer. And deep down, who isn’t still on the school schedule? July comes around and we’re all like “Do we really need to go to work?” Shockingly, the answer is yes. So if we must suffer, at least give us Fridays.

We’d argue that the five-day work week has had its run. Science agrees. Studies keep finding that four-day workweeks can improve productivity while making people happier. Sounds a lot like our relationship with sativa.

Plus, from a strictly local standpoint, considering the surprising amount of time Congress spends in recess, it seems like D.C. has been onto something this whole time.

But until we all get to kick back like congress, we’ll just have to make do with the final summer Fridays we’ve been rationed. And what better way to savor the present moment than by slowing down time, just a little bit? Scientifically speaking, we have a few ideas about how to do that.

Stopping the Clock, THC Style

Yes, we are predictable, so yes, you probably can guess our life hack for savoring the Fridays we still have: cannabis! And specifically THC-dominant strains.

We’ve mentioned it before, but we’ll throw it out there again. It’s a simple fact that THC ramps up the speed of your inner clock, making it feel like more time has passed than actually has. So that whole idea of an endless summer? While we can’t stop time, we can certainly make it feel like it’s moving in slo-mo.

So light up one of our most THC-loaded pre-rolls, put down your phone, and tap into the ticking of your internal summer-Friday clock.

Summer Fridays Are For…

Everything but work!

Say it like a mantra. And live it like that too. Life is too short to hang around the office past noon on a glorious Friday in August.

Time much better spent would include doing pretty much anything other than sitting in front of a computer. Which is lucky because Maryland has a lot of really cool shit to do that pretty much ends in September.

In order to maximize the summer spirit and draw out the extra time on Fridays, we need a serious game plan. Which, by our stoner’s constitution, must always begin with the perfect strain.

Abovementioned pre-rolls are a top editor’s choice. Or if you’re more of the DIY type, may we suggest rolling up your own THC-blasted Diamond-infused Pavé? For the vape lovers, why not a Spritzer Gold Pod, and for the edible fans, pop 10mg of THC in a Watermelon Nano Gummy.

You’re locked, loaded, and equipped with your newest superpower: slowing time. Now with about a million extra hours on your side, time to put them to good use, DMV style.

First, and of top shelf importance, is to check out the sunflower blooms. Lucky for us, the flowers are really popping off in late August. Head to the fields, we suggest Goldpetal Farms, take your pics, pick your blooms, and enjoy the double-high of the gummy doing its thing and the sunflowers doing theirs.

If you’re the “foraging your own munchies” type, there’s always a classic summer U-pick. Nothing says August like a juicy, bursting, blackberry cobbler. And nothing builds up an appetite like THC plus a day on the farm. Close the computer at noon and head out for some original Maryland blackberry picking.

For those of us who lean hard sweet tooth when the munchies hit, it’s straight to peach picking. Another pick-your-own adventure that was practically invented for Maryland’s stoner population. Pick, eat, pick some more. Kudos if you make it home and haven’t eaten every last peach (highly, highly unlikely).

Bringing Our Case to High Court

Where the gavel is a massive joint and each juror is equipped with a loaded bong.

We’re back to the whole Patrick Henry thing. And we think he’d approve of our proposed solutions to the current summer Friday situation.

Getting high? Well that’s perfectly legal. And picking fruit? Been around since before the colonists. So if we’re not too stoned and stuffed at the end of August, maybe we can do him justice and come together to demand an amendment to the whole five-day workweek thing. Summer Fridays as a year-round practice? Motion granted.

WEED THE PEOPLE