Another Round for the Lobbyists

D.C. is a city that runs on two things: power and happy hour. While other cities clock out at five, here we just take the deals from a K Street corner office to a dimly-lit corner booth.

What other city turns a two-for-one well drink into a foreign policy discussion? And all this politicking over a substance known for its dual side effects of aggression and regret. Seems like a recipe for…success? We have our doubts. As well as some highly elevated proposed alternatives.

Happy Hour = Networking with a Drink in Hand

It’s a tale as old as American politics: old dudes getting sloshed and writing off every drop — from the 3-martini lunch of the 60s and 70s to our beloved D.C. happy hour.

And the lore runs deep. Every bar after 5pm is technically a LinkedIn meetup, but for presidential-style deals, there’s only one address: the Willard Hotel’s Round Robin Bar.  The unofficial extension of the White House since 1847, birthplace of the term “lobbyist,” where legislation has been poured neat and drunk dirty for nearly two centuries.

Even the heavyweights play. While on a congressional delegation, Hillary Clinton and John McCain settled their differences the only way D.C. knows how. In Clinton’s words: “We have our political differences, but we sat there drinking vodka.”

And Here We Are Today: Drunk and Divided

Is it any surprise that a substance known to cause bar fights and life-altering decisions made at 2am has led us to the political state we’re in today? Alcohol, the third leading cause of projectile vomiting in broad daylight, probably shouldn’t be second in command.

Now imagine, just imagine, a country run on cannabis, the peace-maker’s substance of choice. Would we be at shutdown number three in 14 months? Probably not. How could a substance known to reduce stress result in anything besides collaborative governance and the eradication of mid-week hangovers? Just ask the hippies, the rastas, or Shiva.

….What would happen if cannabis happy hours replaced bars? Hey, a stoner can dream.

From Cocktails To Cannabis

But really, it’s not that far-fetched an idea since daily weed consumption has officially outpaced alcohol. We’ve got “California Sober”, now we just need to blow a little smoke towards D.C.

Geographically speaking, few cities nationwide are more perfectly primed to make the shift from the barstool to the cannabis lounge. Exit the White House grounds, a short walk, and you’ve found yourself at Don Fuego.

An indica-hybrid dab, Mr. President?

Laugh at the pothead all you want, but when’s the last time you watched someone hit a bong and then swing a punch? Let alone start World War III. Pass that joint across the aisle and suddenly you’ve got civil discourse, unlikely comrades, and student debt forgiveness.

We’re just saying, the infrastructure is there. And our current political system could certainly benefit from a mellow hybrid; may we suggest some Gelato Cake for the White House staff?

And while we’re at it, why not bring that post-work sesh into a larger rotation? All those corporate heads in downtown could certainly benefit from a 5pm wind down that cuts the rage and elevates the chill. Some Pavé for the c-suite?

Lucky for us, D.C.’s got a great selection of spots to legally roll up a post-work joint while rolling out a high-power deal. Post up at Don Fuego or Leaf Dispensary, then walk it off through Union Market. Hit La Cosecha for the snacks, browse the vendors, and let the negotiating flow with the vibes. Or better yet? Grab some top shelf at our Union Market store for an at-home sesh and pair your off-site politicking with a stroll through the National Mall.

With a few puffs in the right direction, it seems like weed becoming federally legal is just a happy hour hit away…

WEED THE PEOPLE